


Your Fingertips Frostbitten and Grey

by Just_A_Sea_Lion



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, M/M, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28301526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_A_Sea_Lion/pseuds/Just_A_Sea_Lion
Summary: Nemesis isn't fighting for his spot in Fnatic, and Selfmade doesn't understand. Why would his boyfriend want to leave the team they both worked so hard to be in? Words are exchanged, hearts are hurt, but they may find each other again.
Relationships: Oskar "Selfmade" Boderek/Tim "Nemesis" Lipovšek
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29
Collections: DreamServer Secret Santa





	Your Fingertips Frostbitten and Grey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [promised_neverland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/promised_neverland/gifts).



> Hello In the shadows <3 This is my gift to you for the Christmas fic exchange ! I hope you like it, it's a bit angsty for a Christmas fic but it's made with love.   
> Thank you to Scorpia for the beta reading as usual <3

“Why are you not fighting to stay in the team? I came in Fnatic for you Neme! And when Dardo tells you that they’re thinking you may not be the best midlane fit for the team, instead of arguing your case you just tell him he’s right! Do you want to go to NA so badly? What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
“Because it’s true! I’m not the best fit for the team! You all just want to fight early and not scale and you’ve never heard of the concept of freezing a lane…”   
“If you just fucking listen to us, to the coaching staff and agreed with the team strats, it wouldn’t go like that! We wouldn’t have choked against Top Esp…”  
When he heard that, Nemesis felt his heart shatter in a million pieces. Pinning the defeat at Worlds on him was nothing new. Reddit sure spent a whole month doing just that. He himself had spent a lot of sleepless nights feeling self-hate gnawing at his insides.   
He felt like he had two possibilities now. Breaking into sobs, or shouting his anger at his jungler. He picked the second option.  
“So why would you want to keep me in the team if it’s my fault? You’ll probably be better off with whoever they pick to replace me. I heard Perkz was leaving G2, if you’re lucky he will even sleep with you too!” He screamed these words in the most hateful tone he could muster.

He slammed the door of the apartment behind him and rushed down the stairs, finding himself in the street. He walked quickly, in no particular direction, the cold December air feeling good on his heated face.   
Walking fast kept him from thinking, from crumbling under the memory of the argument he had just left. Kept him from wondering if this was the end of his three-years relationship. That it would happen after they finally fulfilled their common dream of going to Worlds together was just tragic irony.   
The thoughts he was trying to fight were coming back, so he took his faithful OnePlus to distract himself. He mindlessly scrolled on his discord, but the people there were just talking about roster rumours. He also couldn’t help but notice that Oskar was offline and hadn’t sent him anything. Why would he? He probably thought he was right and Tim didn’t deserve his attention anyway.   
Needing something to clear his head, he sat on a bench in a nearby park and clicked on the Netflix app. He was wearing only a hoodie, and now that he was not fuelled by his anger anymore, he was starting to feel cold, but he ignored it and clicked play. He watched an episode, and then two, and was going to start a third when his phone died. Fuck. 

He came home, getting lost a bit on the way but still finding his way in the now dark Berlin streets. When he was in front of the building’s door, he hesitated. He didn’t want to face Oskar. He didn’t want to go home. Plus he didn’t have his key, he would need to ring the door and he didn’t want to. The cold was now freezing him to the bone, but he could endure it if it meant not facing reality for a little longer. He sat on a bench a few meters away from the building’s door and rubbed his hands to keep them warm, to no effect. He waited there for dozens of minutes, turning into hours, until his hands and feet felt numb from the cold. No one in the street paid attention to him, and the cold eating at him kept him from thinking about anything. With the night, the temperature had probably dropped below 0°C, and he was still wearing only a t-shirt and a hoodie. A Fnatic hoodie. 

In the end, he went home. What else was there to do? He almost thought he wouldn’t be able to get off from his bench and walk the few meters to the door. He typed the code, his fingers almost refusing to obey. When he arrived in front of the door he rang, and heard noise inside as if Oskar was dashing to the door. A few seconds after, the face of the jungler appeared. He looked panicked. Why would he be panicked?  
“Oh my god Neme you’re here! Where the fuck have you been? You went offline on Discord and you weren’t answering your phone, Crownie had no idea where you were and…”  
Now that he’s home, Tim feels so, so, so tired. His body seems unable to produce heat anymore. Weakly, he stumbled towards the couch, letting Oskar babble alone, and collapsed on it.

When Neme arrived home, Oskar felt a mix of relief, guilt and anger. The midlaner didn’t seem to remember his existence and passed right by him to fall on the sofa. What did he do to be so tired? But when Oskar approaches his… -friend? boyfriend? ex? He didn’t want to ask himself this question-, he realises something is wrong. The guy was basically unresponsive. When he gently put a hand on his cheek, the skin was icy cold.  
“Neme, Neme talk to me! Fuck Neme what did you do, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck” 

Frantically, he looked around him, spotted a blanket and wrapped it around the other. He took his hand and blew hot air on them, trying to put some life back in those fingers.   
It didn’t seem to work. Thank God, Nemesis was breathing, his chest slowly rising, but apart from that he was unresponsive. Still panicking, Oskar went to put the heaters of the room on maximum, and wondered what else he could do. Should he call the emergency number?   
When he looked at the midlaner again, another idea came to him. Sharing body heat. Isn’t it said that it’s the easier way to warm someone up?   
That sounded stupid, and Nemesis might kill him later for using this as an excuse to get in bed with him after they fought, but he didn’t have a better idea right now. 

He snuggled under the blanket on the couch with the midlaner and spooned him. He buried his face in the crook of his neck, feeling the blond mass of hair tickle him. He took his hands into his, and awkwardly tried to put his legs in a way that would allow the icy feet to warm up a bit. He tried to encircle Tim’s tiny frame as much as he could, shivering at the cold that was still permeating the other man.  
“Neme,” he whispered in his ear, “why didn’t you come home earlier?”  
Now that they were settled, he felt the panic subside a bit, replaced by an aching hole in his chest. Did he do this? He replayed the scene in his head, painfully remembering what he said. How could he say something like this? He wasn’t better than a silver reddit analyst. He was actually far worse, because it was his boyfriend he hurt like this, not some random player.   
“I’m sorry Neme. I just… I don’t want to lose you. I can’t stand this idea. I was supposed to come to Fnatic to help you feel comfortable in the team and as a result you’re gonna leave. We had our shot, our once in a lifetime opportunity, to play together again, and I smashed it. I’m sorry. I should have been a better boyfriend. A better jungler. And now maybe you will never want to talk to me again after what I said.”  
His voice broke at the last words and he felt tears sting his eyes. He felt like his heart was being squeezed by an invisible hand.

Lost in his thoughts, he suddenly felt something moving against him.  
“Neme, are you ok? How do you feel? What…”  
But the other man turned to face him and shushed him, putting his finger on his mouth.   
“It’s ok Oskar. I’m ok.”  
The jungler hadn’t let go of Tim, and he tightened his grasp around him, burying his face in the other’s chest, listening to his heart. He clutched him desperately, afraid it might be the last time. He could already see Tim getting up and telling him he didn’t want to have anything to do with him ever again.

“I heard you.”  
Selfmade felt his face heating. He meant every word he said, but he didn’t think the other would hear them, and he wasn’t big on talking about his feelings. Before he could answer, Tim talked again.  
“We couldn’t do it this year but… League is not everything in life. It’s a big part of our lives, for sure, but if league is the only thing that keeps us together, I think we are not meant to be together. Do you still love me if our mid-jungle synergy is not what it used to be?”  
“Yes, yes, yes, of course I love you, I’m so sorry for what I said but please don’t do shit like that again, I was so scared.”  
“I’m sorry I couldn’t make the dream true.”  
“Shut up. You’re in my arms, and you’re telling me that you don’t want to see me ever again despite me being the biggest asshole ever. You’re in my arms and…” Oskar blushed, knowing he was going to say the cheesiest thing ever, but he knew it was now or never. “You’re in my arms and that’s the dream and nothing else.”

Gently, Tim put his lips on his, and he lost himself in the feeling. The past was full of regrets and the future was scary, but he knew there is nowhere else he’d want to be than on this sofa that was far too small for two grown men to lie on it side by side. They kissed sweetly, and then teasingly, and Tim kissed Oskar’s nose, and Oskar kissed Tim’s eyelids, and they giggled like schoolboys. When Tim complained that his back was hurting, Oskar called him an old man, and Tim licked his cheek as revenge, which made Oskar yelp indignantly. And then Oskar heated some water for Tim “because the tip of your ears still looks blue from cold”, but Tim whined to have hot chocolate instead and of course Oskar obliged. They went to sleep and fought to be the big spoon, and they fell asleep entangled, under three blankets to keep away the cold.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ! Kudos and comments make my day <3  
> If you want to join this wonderful Lol rpf discord community that is the dreamserver, drop me a comment and I'll give you an invite link !


End file.
